Emotionally Focused Family Therapy works for family therapy as well as for couple therapy because of it’s emphasis on safe attachment and bonding. The cycles of disconnection such as blame/attack and shut down/withdraw are discussed. Conflicts tend to be around times we feel alone and feel our family member is not there for us or we feel attacked and want to flee. Emotionally Focused Therapy for families fosters engagement, responsiveness and healthy dependence. A healthy dependence allows members to know their loved one is there for them but is not an anxious dependence based on an insecure attachment. Much of the media and movies we see such as Batman, Superman, and action movies show the lone hero who doesn’t need anyone close to them. We have a culture that values independence and tends to view dependence as a negative thing. Emotionally Focused Therapy, EFT recognizes that we are hard wired to reach for emotional connection and seek safety and comfort with our closest loved ones. Healthy dependence is when the child can turn to parents for comfort and support and take risks and grow as an individual. Parents can help by labeling feelings so the child gains an ability to communicate feelings using words rather than shutting them down or acting out.  I highly recommend all couples, parents, and anyone wanting close relationships to read Dr. Susan Johnson’s book, Hold Me Tight, Seven Conversations For a Lifetime of Love.

Dr. Susan Johnson shows ground breaking research on how Emotionally Focused Therapy can move couples from unsafe connections to safe and loving connections.  See this video which involves MRI brain scans and how perception of pain is affected by how safe or unsafe a person feels in their relationship to their partner.

Call me for a free phone consultation or text me to set up an appointment, 917-757-6542.

Emotionally Focused Therapy for Individuals, Couples, and Families in Brooklyn and Midtown Manhattan:

Midtown, near Grand Central:   280 Madison Avenue, Suite 1011, New York, NY, 10016

Brooklyn Heights:  26 Court Street, Suite 1004, Brooklyn Heights, NY 11242