Why EFT, Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy?
From my research, I found that Dr. Sue Johnson has created the best and most lasting couple therapy approach. It is structured in steps and stages so the therapist has a real road map on how to help couples. I have also studied couple and family therapy with The Ackerman Institute for the Family, Hunter College Family Therapy Program, and John Gottman, Ph.D. After studying other types of couple therapy, this approach makes the most sense to me and outcome studies show it achieves the best and most lasting positive results in couples and families.
I was impressed to know that EFT couple therapy is the most well researched couple therapy by independent researchers where couples are interviewed before, during and after therapy. Studies on couples after only a few sessions show that 70-75% of couples shift from disturbing distress to real recovery, and that 90% of couples measured after EFT couple therapy show positive effects that last for years. You can read more about the 25 years of peer-reviewed research on Dr. Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy by going to her website, ICEEFT.
How EFT, Emotionally Focused Therapy Works
I work with you as a team. Together we track what happens in your interactions with your partner and the underlying needs, fears, and longings that may not be shown. A typical cycle of disconnection is when one partner criticizes or becomes controlling in order to feel connection and the other partner withdraws or is dismissive. The harder the pursuer in the relationship pursues, the more the other partner puts up a wall and both can end up feeling frustrated and alone. My job is to make it safe for you and like other EFT therapists, I will slow things down, understand what is happening, and validate your experiences so we can see the deeper needs. After calming down or understanding the cycle of disconnect, I help set the stage for bonding moments and repair the disconnection.
EFT, emotionally focused therapy is based on attachment theory, the notion that from birth we all have the need to love and be loved and to know that someone is there for us. Our feelings guide us to reach for comfort and support or to fight and flee and that helps us to survive.
Here Dr. Susan Johnson talks about the origins of EFT and how it works. The video starts with a short segment of Dr. Sue Johnson working with a couple in couple therapy.
Are you ready to get started? The best way to begin is to start reading Dr. Sue Johnson’s best-selling book: Hold Me Tight, Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love.