In my years of marital counseling I have found one book that gives the best advice to couples. I like it because it is based on years of research, not just the author’s opinions. Why Marriages Succeed or Fail by John Gottman, Ph.D. has practical advice; it’s almost a road map. John Gottman video taped couples fighting, measured their vital signs, and interviewed them about their thoughts about their partner. He discusses what helps when couples have fights such as a slow start-up, humor, good listening, and signs of appreciation and respect. In couple counseling, my job is to be neutral, nonjudgmental, supportive, and respectful. We may explore family-of-origin beliefs, values, and rituals so partners gain a better understanding of each other. I help couples work better as a team.